- Whilst out and about, you find yourself patting your pocket/checking your bag in a panic because you have forgotten your warrant card, only to realize you no longer have one; OR you regularly imagine what you’re going to say to an officer, when he finds you still have your warrant card in your pocket; you know, “just in case”.
- You have the direct line for the local Police Control Room Supervisor on speed dial: “just in case”.
- At least one of your passwords is based on your collar number – because “nobody will ever guess that”.
- When strolling round to your local newsagents, you find you keep a measured pace and you catch yourself checking vehicle tax discs or registration plates; sometimes you find that you “casually” glance at the keyholes on unusually parked or unfamiliar car doors, to see if they’ve been barrelled
- When walking past a group of youths on a street corner, you instinctively (and unobtrusively) breath in through your nose to see if there are any exotic materials around
- Whilst at social gatherings, you find yourself speculating on the sources of income of fellow guests, especially where their stated employment seems unlikely to be able to support their apparent wealth
- Whilst on the road in your car, you find yourself wishing you still had your Fixed Penalty Book (or saving that, a surface-to-surface missile system)
- 8. Hearing somebody complain that their house has just been “robbed”, you automatically correct them by telling them it is actually a burglary, not a robbery
- You resolve never to be the guy that mentions your previous service to the Traffic officer who is booking you for a minor offence, but somehow happen to mention it anyway.
- You “know” which of the tearful family on the TV press appeal is the child molester/murderer, just by looking at him. You are, of course, later vindicated by the subsequent announcement of his arrest
You know you have really moved on when ….
- You no longer have the wallet your warrant card came in; or at least, it’s in a drawer somewhere, along with any bits of uniform you might have had lying around
- You realize that 999/911 is probably a better way of summoning assistance these days
- You know exactly what to say to the first Officer on the scene if you have to “deal with” a housebreaker in your living room.
- You don’t really want to go into (or near) a police station unless you have to
- You keep your previous service quiet, even to cops, until you know the other person better
- You let opinionated twerps who know nothing about policing continue to witter on, without correcting them
- You stop being bothered that actors and extras on TV wear their flat caps pulled down too far, or have “Custodian” helmets that are far too big
- You have a “proper” job that doesn’t require you to give up the things you care about just because you hold a Public Office; and, even if you’re not working, you spend the time doing the things you want to do, with the people you want to be with and you have to account to nobody because of it
- Having joined a political party and/or a trade union, you live above a betting shop, in a pub that also houses a brothel, whilst wearing the symbol of your chosen faith openly and/or expressing views that you hold honestly; without worrying about getting into trouble for it
- You hold your head high, because you earned your citizenship…..
Stuff you’ll (probably) never stop doing (in addition to being able to spot the murderer in a victim’s family TV press appeal)
- Spotting the guy in a crowd who is not part of the crowd
- Recognising that if it’s too good to be true, it’s probably not true
- Loathing misguided politicians for their clumsy attempts at setting the police agenda
- Being respectful to other public services, especially the poor saps who have to police your area
- Keeping some of the stuff you’ve seen to yourself, because “normal” people shouldn’t have to hear it
- Getting drunk and telling a particularly outrageous story about something you were involved in, only to find that “normal” people don’t think it’s funny (oops)
- Getting drunk and telling a particularly outrageous story about something you were involved in, and being seen as the “life and soul” because your stories are “..hilarious!…”
- Feeling bad for the victims
- Feeling bad toward the perpetrators
- Feeling glad you made it, when many of your colleagues didn’t ……
